A Market For An Improved Bedpan

There’s a popular song about soldiers that goes “You had your breakfast in bed before, but you won’t have it there any more!” As Gildersleeve’s pal Phoebe would say: “Well, now, I wouldn’t say that.” I didn’t have breakfast in bed before, but I have it there now. Also, dinner and supper. It isn’t that I’m lazy, you understand – the captain won’t have it any other way. I’ve suffered no ill effects from it so far.

Our food here is the best by far that I’ve eaten in the Army. And we can have all we want, within reason. Hospitals evidently get special rations for patients, as regards both quality and quantity. It is prepared very well, in relatively small quantities, of course, for Army cooking. Emphasis seems to be on fruits, vegetables, and really good meat. Yesterday morning we had pork sausage; at noon, ham; in the evening, turkey; today’s breakfast brought creamed chicken on toast (didn’t like that); for dinner, steak; and at supper, canned beef and other cold cuts. That is only slightly better than the average menu here. We have ice cream several times a week and there is usually a second dessert besides. It’s going to be hell eating that regular chow again! I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if it takes me longer to recover than I first thought! (The doctor says I should eat a lot and try to gain some weight).

This is the first day that I’ve been allowed to sit up in bed a little. It didn’t feel so very good at first, but I’m getting used to it tonight. I guess that I’ll have to learn how to walk all over again!

Valentine’s Day is gone, but I haven’t yet had my say on that extremely swell greeting card I received from Bonnie. I showed it to Harvey and Doris and others, boasting of Bonnie’s ability to “pick ‘em out”, for they admired it greatly. Imagine my surprise when I learned that Mom had a hand in picking it out! I should have suspected as much. Thanks to Mom and Bonnie for a card which struck me just right.

Dad is the inventor of the family. On the basis of my own personal experience, I would venture to say that there is a market for an improved type of bedpan, one somewhat deeper than the present standard model! Have I got something there or not?

[letterstohome copyright 2008]

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